Doesn’t feels right.
Yes, i was very unhappy.
Because i felt left out,
As if i wasn’t important.
I am disappointed.
Disappointed because i was among
the last to know.
Yes, i was expecting something.
Not being hopeful to be the first to know,
But definitely not among the last.
It may be a big fuss i’m kicking up again.
But i’m feeling like we’re drifting away.
Physically, mentally, emotionally.
It may be good to argue.
But lately, its been way too much.
We’re losing grip.
I no longer have any faith in myself.
I knew i can’t expect too much,
But somehow, lately im feeling so lonely.
Even at your house, you’re not mine.
You’re still everybody’s one.
And im upset.
I no longer feel secure.
Even when you’re next to me physically,
knowing that you’re not mentally,
Only hurts more than anything else.
I may be really selfish.
I just thought that when you’re with me,
You really am, most of the time.
But lately, no. There’s been a thick wall between us.
Too much disagreement, discontent and distrust.
And now, i am distressed.
I have no idea how to handle it.
Yes, we spoke of this issue last night.
It should have been a past thing.
But tonight, i do not want to deceit again.
All i am asking for, is your true attention, true understanding and probably just pure campanionship when we’re alone, if the rest is too much to ask for.
Logically, there’s nothing wrong being the last on the list,
Because ultimately, someone has to be the last.
But emotionally, being your spouse,
I just thought that for the very least, i wont be in that category.
I am still attempting to digest my emotions.
And yes, i am not pleased.
Certainly, by saying this out,
I hope it wont cause more pain, though i highly doubt so.
Lets hope tomorrow will be a happier day.
Toddle.
